In two weeks I disappear 🙂
Not from life. But, from my current job. I have received the job working with people with special needs! I am beyond excited for this opportunity.
Also, the thought of disappearing from my current job is something to be happy about. I do not have any friends here Or people I talk to regularly. So, when my last day comes (July 26th!) I will walk out the door an nobody will know I am gone. It’s the best way for me to leave and I am more then ecstatic to never have to be taken for granted this much again.
This new job is not just a job. But, a career. Something I can devote my life to and spend my days doing something meaningful.
Only two weeks left till the transformation!
I’m a normal human.
I make mistakes like anyone else.
So, why do I feel the need to be “cool” in your eyes?
Even though I preach “live life your own Way” I still want acceptance from you at times. And I hate it.
I don’t want to be this way. And I really don’t have to.
Every morning when my head leaves that pillow I want to sit up and shout that I will not be controlled by the opinion of people just as lost as I have been! I am strong! I am unique!
And,no. I don’t have more then four really good friends in my life or endless likes on social media. But, I have a loving boyfriend, a forgiving God and an accepting family. And wether I am popular or not. You will not take that away from me by spreading rumors.
So, you can keep your instalikes and Facebook friends. That’s fine with me.
But, I choose living life over social acceptance.
I’m working on some new things! This is very different cause I am usually so complacent in my life choices.
I am looking into a new Job! I want to work with people who have special needs! This would be ideal. I love helping people and making a difference. If it all works out I would be doing overnights and making sure these clients are sleeping okay and helping them get ready for classes the next morning. I want this job so bad. Not just for the experience. But, also to be moved out of this hostile work area I am now in.
Also, I am starting to eat healthier and take more walks so as to be less sluggish. Things only worsen if you let them and I refuse to become unhealthy. I am not thin. I am “average” and Italian. Which means I have a tummy and a shapely figure (butt). That doesn’t mean I should just give up and accept what I was dealt. I can make better choices in what I eat and how much time I spend on Netflix😩 running is my friend.
I hope all who are following show me as much support as possible!
I love sharing my journey to bettering myself with you!
And I have social anxiety.
I didn’t try to become this way.
I was such an outgoing child/teen. But, ever since my twenties I can’t talk to people outside of my old circle of trust. If I do I can’t make myself hold eye contact after the hello.
Am I okay? I don’t know. It’s so strange cause I wanna be outgoing. I just don’t know how.
Every time I try to talk to people my breath catches and I have slight panic attacks.
People tell me “just branch out. It’s not that hard to talk to someone and make conversations.”
But, they don’t know how much it strains me to find words to speak without repeating myself 12 times.